Stay, or go?

There are two obvious choices. Black and white. You already know what they are. Humans always seem to complicate things when it gets down to making real decisions that may include sacrifice on any level. Separation from what pleases us. Abstinence from what we hold dear, what we crave.We avoid making ANY decision for fear of making the wrong one, or worse, others thinking we made the wrong one God forbid!!

RIGHT and WRONG. We love to interfere with " wrong". Add shame to it, justify it, morph it, turn it into a battle of semantics. Good and Evil. Divided belief systems. It goes on, But we KNOW what WRONG looks like.

In our truth we know. Our core. I believe we were born with the ability to sense our path in the same way that whales have the ability to navigate through black seas over thousands of miles. We are no less amazing. We are also creatures of extraordinary beauty and strength. Our true path, our lives, were all divinely appointed. Our birthright, the very breath given to us is our path. No one was brought here without one. We all have meaning in our lives, meaning within our own individual paths, like keys to treasure boxes of growth and spiritual development. Finding those keys is sometimes the biggest lesson, the hardest part, and I believe it is made harder when we resist what is natural and most obvious. Suffering is what comes with interference of what is right and what is wrong.

So, what then do we do with those big questions when we have drifted away from our breath and our truth. Which way do we go at the crossroads? How do we know the difference between natural human pain and manufactured suffering? Even if we Do figure out the base or birth of the point which we let go of the beam or thread of God consciousness, what then? Keep moving forward or go back and repair?

I have made so many decisions based on the wrong thought patterns in my life and yet, I feel with certainty,( which is a rare thing for me) that all the things that have transpired in my life have led me to this exact place on earth to the point of latitudes and longitudes. I have made so many mistakes and yet feel certain that none have been made BY mistake. i feel this way about everything and everyone and yet our earth and the human race in general seem to be hurling towards a bitter end of catastrophic proportions. I know, very gloom and doom, but if one were to look up the statistics of war and global warming, food production and crime rate, one would discover that it is actually an accurate prognosis.

So I wonder why, why do we continually FORGET GOD? Are we designed to? Is it some sort of pruning process for the human race? Is it so difficult to remember the most important and vital things? Miracles, real miracles have taken place in peoples lives and within a short period of time they laps back into a state of disbelief or mechanical thinking which leads to suffering and resistance!! It's happened to me on a relative scale. I have heard though, of proof of divinity occurring right before peoples eyes and still, we don't embrace it! As a culture, it passes through like goosebumps, news today, gone tomorrow.

Back to the calendar. Life as usual.

We have the stock market to consider after all! Really? Is our economy so dear that we can find no other solution to a way of life that is productive???? With all the great minds out there. All of the benevolent healers. Can no one see that this society we have built is falling down around our ears and there seems to be no real solutions being tossed around on the late night talk shows. No plan B. Just total dependence on our government to "straighten the tie" of our culture so we can keep calm and carry on. Keep those cheerios on the shelves.

Are there so few who would be willing to swim against the stream? To lead in a radical yet positive direction? Where are the Martin Luther King Jr's of THIS generation? Why so much apathy? I'm not one of those jesus sandal wearing left wingers who shouts from a soapbox then promptly jumps into their hummer and drives off to meet the starlet they are life coaching at the chateau marmot!

I feel the apathy rising in my chest as bile does in a wave of nausia and self awareness that I am incapable myself to vastly change.

However, I am waking up everyday asking God how I might be of some use each day. Maybe in some small very small, insignificant way I am helping. I believe that is how prayer works. One person prays, one person receives relief. Somewhere. Not the person we are praying for necessarily, but A PERSON. It's the spirit that counts. Who knows? Maybe if we can get enough right motive spirit going we could have a collective prayer in motion and get some change happening in this lifetime? Or maybe it will be for the next generation. Maybe this one is still coming down from the high of the last. Maybe we are the in between, but at least we are somewhat present. I don't know. I know I would rather be coming down than getting high believe it or not. At least I'm half way there.

Yeah, I'll go........